Home has been the thing on my mind lately. I read this quote on IYFTE yesterday that I think sums it up perfectly. “My momma told me not to make a person my home but I didn’t listen. I should have listened.”
I get this. Because I did the same thing. It wasn’t so much that I made him my home as it was just I always felt at home with him. Even on the bad days, being with him felt like coming home. And now he’s on the other side of the world, and I don’t really know where home is anymore… I’d like to sound a little less dramatic but for the sake of honesty – that’s exactly where I’m at. I’m not sure where home is. I’m not sure how to make anything feel right. And that’s a really hard place to be in.
But as I read my bible this morning, Titus 1v2 stood out to me. It told me that ‘we rest in this hope we’ve been given – the hope that we will live forever with our God – the hope that He proclaimed ages and ages ago (even before time began).’ And it reminded me of the truth – that Jesus is Home to me. That no matter where I am, or where my love is, my Jesus is present, and He is Home. There is a day coming where I will be with Him forever, exactly where I was always made to be. And when I am there, everything will be exactly as it should be. It will be right.
That’s my hope in this season, and this life. It’s a hope that doesn’t change. A hope that doesn’t disappoint. It’s a hope that was given before time even began, and so it is never going to change or end. No matter where I go in this world, I can always have a sense of Home. I can always rest in the hope that a day will come where I will be completely where I was always meant to be. There is a place for me. This world isn’t it. And I have no idea if and when I will ever feel really at home again here, but even if I don’t, I will be okay. Because I have this hope as my anchor. I have the hope that there is more than just this. I have the hope that there is place for me where I fit perfectly and will never have to question anything again.
And so that’s where I am right now – learning to make my Home in Jesus once again. Trusting that my feelings don’t have to dictate my truth. Knowing that there is a place for me where I truly belong. Declaring that I am not hopeless, but rather, I have hope. I have peace. It’s a journey, it’s a fight. But one step at a time, I will get there. Home is where my heart is – so I’m choosing to place my heart in Jesus, and let Him do what He needs to.