'You are the beauty from the ashes.'
It was one of the most broken moments of my entire life. I dont remember ever feeling so gutted, so hurt, so lost. As I sat there in a heap of tears and prayers, begging God to show me some kind of beauty from all the ashes in my life - he said it. I dont even know if he realized what he said, but in that moment, he told me 'you are the beauty from the ashes.'
Everything changed right then because for the first time, I could see. I started to see through God's eyes. I started to understand why there's been so much pain and heartbreak. I started to understand why He'd put me on such a hard path. I started to understand why so many things fell apart - why there were so many unknowns.
I'd spent so long looking for redemption in the situations themselves, when all along God was creating the redemption in me. He was creating the beauty in me. He was using the ashes of this fallen apart life to make me into someone who reflects Him. He was using all the brokenness to make me into someone who helps heal the broken. Hurting people hurt people, but healed people heal people. I've been the recipient and giver of both sides of that. All I can say is that being hurt sucks, and the price for beauty doesn't always feel worth it. The pain and the wounds and the scars aren't something I'd wish on anybody.
And yet - you are the beauty from the ashes. I am the beauty from the ashes. Maybe it's time to stop looking at the situations - to stop trying to find the redemption in them and questioning God when you cant - and start seeing what He's doing in you. Maybe it's time to look at His faithfulness to you; to look at the way He uses the ashes to make you something beautiful - someone who heals because they've been healed. Someone who loves deeply because they know what it's like to love and to lose. Out of the ashes beauty will rise - and baby? Maybe it's you. Maybe you are the beauty from the ashes.