I heard your story last night and I wanted to cry. You had all these dreams of rose petals and candles, a man that loved you, in a beautiful setting. But in this crazy world that told you waiting is uncool, you settled for less and gave it away all too easily. It became a joke to everyone around you. They told you it was no big deal. They offered to put a price tag on it, and in that way, cheapened it so, so much.
I just wanted to tell you that you are still worth the rose petals. You are still worth a man who is committed to you, who loves you. You are still worth a man who will be there in the morning when you wake up. Sex isn’t cheap…. Sex isn’t just some physical process that just needs getting done and over with. Sex wasn’t meant to be the obsession, the topic of jokes, and the focus of your entire life.
More important than the physical aspect of sex, are the relationships you have with people in your life. I’m not saying that sex is unimportant, I’m just saying that before that happens, you need to know who you are and Whose you are. You need to have strong relationships built in your life, not just with friends, and not just with a lover, but with the One that created you…. The One that created sex.
Can I let you in on something? When He created sex and set it within the boundaries and context of marriage, He didn’t do so just to torture us. He didn’t do so just because He thought it would be fun to watch us wait. He did so for our benefit, and our protection. He did so because we are worth something, worth everything to Him.
I think that’s why you dreamt of rose petals and a man who’d still be there in the morning. You dreamt like that because that’s what you were made for. That was the context you were made to enjoy sex in. I know that waiting is hard. I know that even when you know you’re worth, it is still hard, and you’re still tempted to go further than you should.
But I still think waiting is worth it. I still think that we, as precious, loved human beings deserve the beauty that comes after waiting for the right one. I've written before about waiting for sex and the journey it is, so I won’t repeat myself (you can read that one here: http://bekksies.blogspot.com.au/2013/11/sex-waiting-open-letter.html). Instead, I just want you to know a couple more things.
Beautiful girl – know your worth. And know the ground you stand on. As hard as it is, you need to walk away from anyone who is pursuing you simply so they can have sex with you. In the moment, it feels like a compliment that someone thinks of you that way – but I can promise you, it’s not a compliment. And they’re not really thinking about you – they’re thinking about themselves and what they can get from you. Saying no may mean the end of a friendship, the end of a relationship – that is so hard, but baby, keep walking. Keep moving on. The right man – he’ll cherish you. He’ll honour you. He will wait for you.
You don’t need to settle just because the world says waiting is uncool. You don’t need to give in just because you are frustrated and tired of the waiting journey. You don’t need to give in just because he’ll leave if you don’t sleep with him.
You’re beautiful, girl.