Monday, 7 April 2014

My beautiful friend - MLL

My beautiful friend,

I just want you to know straight up, that you are enough. I know you don’t feel that way right now. I know it seems there are so many inadequacies, so many ways you don’t measure up, either to the church or the world, but you are enough.

It’s a crazy world we live in now… There are so many things pulling for our attention, so many places we’re told our identity comes from. And yet, I know you’ve learned too many of those things actually just leave us feeling empty. Baby-girl, I want you to know that you are not alone. It seems that way, when there’s so much division between Christians, but it’s not true. I’ve been where you are, and though I didn’t make all the same choices, I chose things equally as distracting.

The journey is not wrong, baby. It’s not wrong to go on a journey of figuring out who you are and who God is, and whether He fits into the story of your life. I know there are so many mixed opinions and voices telling you what’s right and wrong, but ultimately you just need to know one thing. God will redeem and use it all. That redemption process – it can be painful. It usually involves things being cut out of our life that we thought we needed, things and people we’ve relied on for so long. But nothing will be removed that you still need. Nothing will be cut off that will hinder you in the long run.

Baby, this is your story… this is your journey… And you’re not always going to get it right because none of us do. You’re going to have a lot of moments of wondering what the hell is going on, and how on earth the things happening can be good… But those are the moments that make you. Those are the moments you’ll remember. Those are the times you’ll look back at and realize God was doing something in you, forming faith and building character…

The Christian life isn’t pretty, my love. Maybe you thought it would be… But reality is, it’s messy… A lot messier than anyone ever dreamed. Because it’s a life of constant surrender, constantly laying down our desires for His will. And it’s not wrong to want things… It’s not wrong to have desires… But until they’re laid down to Him, we often end up chasing the wrong things. We end up chasing the things that only hurt us – things that are really difficult to walk away from.

If you get one thing from this letter, please let it be this: He is still working in your life. He hasn’t forgotten you. He isn’t mad at you. He isn’t at a loss as to what to do with you. He sees you, baby-girl, and He loves what He sees. He knows of your heartbreak and disappointments. He sees the way you’re trying to do the right thing but often feel like you’re failing. He is not angry at you. No matter what choices you make, He has a plan and a purpose for you that cannot be hindered by anything. He will always find a way. He will use your journey, all of it, for His purposes. 
Be still, baby. Take some time off to just be. Release yourself from the pressure of trying to be everything to everyone. Know that you’re standing on holy ground; you’re standing in the very place God can and will use. You don’t always have to get it right. You don’t always have to fight to keep everyone else happy. What matters is Jesus in your heart – everything else flows from that.

I’m not saying that being in relationship with Him will make everything perfect, and you’ll stop wanting to do things Christians will tell you are wrong. I’m not saying you’ll never struggle with wondering who you are and where you fit… But I am saying if you have Him, you have peace. You have a safe place you will always be able to run to, no matter how far gone you feel. When you have Jesus, you have someone you can be honest with, even if that honesty means yelling at Him because He didn’t give you what you thought you needed. Or He took something from you that you didn’t know you could live without. 
He’s a safe place, for all the questions, for all the hurting, for all the doubt, all the fear, all the hopelessness. He’s not a magic fix, where overnight you’ll suddenly feel better about everything. But He’s committed to the process. He won’t stop working in you, even when you can’t feel Him moving.

Some days it might be all you can do to just hold onto Him for dear life – but that is enough, baby. He sees your heart, and He wont let you go. You don’t have to be afraid anymore… There’s a place where your help comes from, no matter how lost or broken you feel.

Don’t give up.

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