Thursday, 10 April 2014

A letter to my future husband

Hey Baby,

I finally figured out how I’ll know you… It won’t be that you fit the list I’ve written about you... It won’t be that you’re some flawless, perfect person. You won’t always get it right – I know that now. But I’ve still figured out how I’ll know it’s you. I’ll know it’s you, darling, because He will give me your heart, and you mine. You will draw me closer to Christ – always pressing me towards Him. Your heart will be so wrapped in Him that I’ll have no choice but to go to Him in order to really know you. And that’s when it will be right, and not only right, but safe. 
Because any love that is built with Christ as the Cornerstone is a love that can last.
Any love that begins with the wholehearted pursuit of Jesus is a love that will make it through everything.

And really, isn’t that the way relationships are meant to be approached anyway? Aren’t they always the best relationships, the ones that begin with two hearts focused solely on Jesus & His calling – and letting Him do all the work in joining those hearts together?

I want to be honest, my love. The waiting for you is not always so easy. And there are lots of men that serve to be pretty good distractions, mirages of you. There’s been more than one guy that has managed to get a piece of my heart – and yet, I’m still waiting for you. And I’m slowly figuring out what more of that waiting looks like. If I expect you to be wholeheartedly pursuing Jesus before I find you, then I too, need to be in on that pursuit of my Saviour. And it is a world full of distractions, but Jesus is worth saying no to certain things. And you, love, you will be worth every time I chose to say no to someone else.

I have learned that our love will never be perfect. Yes, it will be built on Jesus – but that’s why it will last. Not just because we love each other ‘enough.’ Love will never be enough; baby – human love is too imperfect. But Jesus’ Love – that’s perfect love. And perfect love is enough to sustain us. There is no fear in perfect love – so whenever we’re fearful, we need to run to Him. His Love doesn’t invoke fear, and it expels fear that already exists. He is our safe place, the refuge we’ll always be able to run to when the world hurts us, or when – in those awful moments – we hurt each other.

Because we will hurt each other – I know this. And I hate that thought, baby, coz somehow I always thought I was the great mender of hearts – and I would never be the one inflicting the hurt, but always the one fixing it. But I know we’re all imperfect, and because of that- we hurt each other. We let each other down and though that sucks, it’s the way it is. But thankfully, we have a Healer – we have SomeOne who never lets us down, and is always a safe place to run to. He doesn’t reject us. He pays attention to detail – He doesn’t miss a thing. So maybe that’s how we’ll make it – always running back to Him, not creating a list of offenses, but always giving them up – surrendering them to Him, and choosing forgiveness. I promise to do that, love. I promise to always try and keep my heart open to Him, so He can work in me, and remind me of my need to let go of the hurt.

Another thing I know about our love – is that we will stay. Even when walking away seems easier, when leaving makes the most sense – by His strength we will be faithful, and we will stay. Because that’s what His Love does. His Love stays. His Love fights for us. His Love protects. And if our Love can model that – then we have what we need. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We don’t have to always feel like we’re in love. But we need to be committed to staying. To sticking out the journey. To fighting for each other, even when all Hope seems lost. His Love pursues –so, baby, that’s my promise to you. To stay, to pursue. To encourage you when everything is falling apart. To fight for you when everyone else is gone. To pursue even when you walk through the valleys of darkness.

I don’t know your name yet, honey. But I know you. And I know how I’ll know you… Keep your heart wrapped up in Jesus. Wait for me. Keep your eyes on Him, and pursue Him with everything you have. Choose to say no to anything that pulls your gaze from Him. Have grace for yourself when you don’t always get it right. Let His perfect Love cast out any fear that exists in your life. Run to His Arms, to your Safe Place when the world around you is falling apart. Let Him heal the hurts in your heart. Fight for yourself, baby, and let Him fight for you. You’re worth it.

I love you.

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