Monday, 6 January 2014

I Wont Let You Go

I love this song. And more than that, I love this video. Why? Because of what it represents. In the scene depicted, there's a young girl who is clearly broken... Who clearly is struggling to even be alive. And yet, the people around her don't try and fix it with words. Instead, they do the only thing they can.
They enter in to her pain.
They lie on the ground beside her, and by doing that, they show her that they are with her. That they won't abandon her. They show her that they will help her however they can, even if all that means is that they walk with her through all the stuff life throws at her.
I have learnt this lately.

Sometimes there aren't enough healing words to heal our broken hearts. 
Sometimes there aren't enough pretty words to excuse someone's ugly actions. 

Sometimes all people need is someone who will enter in to their darkness. Who will lie beside them in the dark and just hold their hand. Because that says more than our words ever could. When someone enters in to our pain like that, it shows us we are worth something. It shows us we are not alone. It shows us that someone is going to be there to help us get through.

This is a hard thing for me sometimes. I'm a writer - I'm used to using words to express and explain everything. And not only that, but I'm a bit of a fixer, too. I like to think I can fix things, I can make things better, I can make things work. And yet, if I've learned anything over the last couple of months, I've learnt that I am not any kind of fixer. I cant fix my broken heart. I cant take away someone else's fear. I cant heal myself of illness, and I cant fix anyone else of their illness' either. And trying to do that - only makes things worse, for me and them. And yet, there is still something in my heart that is drawn to compassion for other people. There is something in me that wants to make this promise to anyone hurting:
I wont let you go. 

I wonder if maybe I can make that promise though? Maybe if I accept that words will never be enough, and I cant fix anything, then maybe I can promise to just hold on. Because I can be there for someone. I can hold their hand through the darkness. I can lie beside them when they just want to give up. I can sit beside them as they just try to process every crazy detail of what's happening in their life.

Friend, I want you to know something. I wont let you go. I am not any kind of fixer or maker. I dont have enough words to heal you. And neither do you. But we can be there for each other - always. Where 2 or 3 are gathered, Jesus will be there, baby. And though we're not enough - He is. He uses community to bring about healing, strength, and purpose. I cant make your heart better... But I will do everything in my power to show you that you are not alone.

I love you.

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