Tuesday 3 December 2013

Brave, Unconditional Love, Honesty, Forever Love and Owning My Feelings

It's been an interesting week... It's one of those seasons of growing, and therefore learning an insane amount of things. So rather than blogging on just one topic, I thought I'd go ahead and blog about them all. It has not been an easy season, but I'm learning to see that it's all good - because God is good and uses everything for good. The best is not only yet to come, but it's right here, right now. 
  • As a writer, I'm learning the importance of owning my feelings. If I'm going to write it, then I'm going to accept that people will read it. If I'm going to be honest, then I am going to realize not everyone will appreciate that honesty. I think it's not only a lesson in writing, it's a lesson in growing up. 
  • The process is healthy. Here's what I mean by that - the messy, painful seasons, where it feels like you've hit rock bottom, the tears and the anger, can all be part of a healthy process. It's a good thing to process life, to process the things that affect you with God and trusted friends & family. 
  • Sometimes you are stronger than you realize and God is more Faithful than you could have imagined. 2 years ago yesterday, I watched a beautiful person die from cancer. It was the worst situation and I honestly don't know if I ever cried so much as I did in that season. I was so fearful that not only would this persons family fall apart, but that I, too, would fall apart. I didn't know how to get through that. And yet, their family made it through, and are stronger because of it. I made it through and I'm stronger because of it. God is Faithful at carrying us through that which has the potential to break us. And on that note, I am also learning that there are still no words. For grief, for sorrow, for loss. Sometimes telling someone you love them and holding them while they cry is enough. 
  • Sometimes, walking into a room full of strangers is the best thing you can do for yourself. Living in community is always worth putting yourself out there to meet new people. 
  • Being BRAVE is a choice. Brave is not a feeling, it's a decision. It's a decision to feel the fear and nerves, take a deep breath, and do it anyway. Brave has become my lifestyle - it's a choice I make every single day. 
  • Don't give up. Life gets better. Nothing is ever too far gone for God's redemption. He uses everything (I mean, everything!) for good. Don't despise small beginnings.
  • Don't ever apologize for being yourself, for being real and transparent. This has been a big one for me lately. I get told I'm too honest - that I say too much on this blog and share too many of my feelings. But I'm learning, along with owning my feelings, I don't ever need to apologize for being myself. For feeling the way I feel, or wearing my heart on my sleeve, or being affected by what I'm affected by. I am myself for a reason, and I wouldn't want it to be any other way.
  • Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to unconditionally love people... Radically, deeply, as wholly as I possibly can. I know we talk about unconditional love, and even sing songs about it (shout out to Katy Perry!) but it still seems like we only love people til they stop loving us, or stop treating us well... I want to love regardless. I want to love even when it doesn't make sense.
  • I am His forever love. I am the one Jesus always wanted, the one He prayed for. I am 'the one' for Him, the one He would fight for, die for, and get down on bended knee for. I am the right one for Him, and He is the right One for me. This is a love that stays. 
  • People are always going to have an opinion of you, and sometimes it will be wrong. You can't make everybody like you, and by trying to prove someone wrong, you often end up proving them right. Your job is to be yourself regardless, to continue to be a person of integrity even when your very integrity is being questioned. You can be kind to people regardless of how they treat you. You don't have to be naive and trust people who will betray that trust, but you can just be kind to them anyway, knowing one day, God will reveal the Truth about you and them.

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