Unsaid words

You taught me that love begins again. You taught me that the past is the past. You taught me that the right thing doesn't always feel right, and the right thing doesn't always come with some great reward down the track. You taught me what courage and what character look like – what it means to be brave, and take responsibility, and move on from the past. You taught me that we’re all a little bit broken, and as much as we don’t want to conform, we all do sometimes.

I learnt how to be brave with you. How to walk in, take a deep breath, and lay my heart on the line. I learnt how to have fun, to talk about nothing and still have it feel like everything.

I learnt how to be open, how to trust people again. You shared your heart and your burden with me, and that taught me that I am important. That you found me to be someone you could trust. I learnt that we are always more than we seem to be, that there is always a deep story behind the heart.

I learnt of a godless world, that’s so desperate for Truth to cling to but doesn’t want to look for it. I’ve never seen darkness like that. I’ve never had someone look me in the eyes and tell me they don’t see how they could ever believe in a good God. So now I know how important it is, to step outside the four walls of my church building.

I learnt how to pray, how to truly get down on my knees and beg God for a miracle. I learnt how to pray without ceasing, because I have something to pray for. I’m learning how to believe that there are no lost causes, only scared hearts searching for some truth. I’m learning the power of redemption, of realizing EVERYTHING can be used by God, for God.

I learnt the importance of knowing the world around me, of trying new things, exploring the culture I live in, and paying attention to history. I learnt there is more to life than how we’ve both been living, and silence is never a bad thing.

You taught me what moving on and letting go really looks like. Because the day you said yes is the day I changed the song when his old favorite came on. I spent so long so afraid of getting hurt again, still a little bit caught up in my past. But that changed when you let me into your life. I learnt that the possibility of love begins again. I learnt that even when it doesn’t work out; it doesn’t have to end badly. I learnt I don’t have to grasp at straws and hold on until I’m burned out. It’s okay to say thanks for the memories and just keep going in life.

So thank you. Thank you for the part you played in my life. Thank you for teaching me it’s okay to feel what I feel, and it’s okay to miss you, and still keep living. Thank you for being a friend and showing me that chivalry does still exist. I’m so grateful that I got to see more of your heart and understand what makes you who you are. I’m so thankful for the lessons I learned that I can’t even put into words yet. Thank you for going along with my crazy and letting me be brave. Thanks for teaching me that I should just be honest, because actions always speak louder than words. 

I won't stop praying for you,

A friend