Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Being real...

                                               'The world doesn't need fancy like it needs real.'
                                                                       - Ann Voskamp
How real are you?

No, seriously, how real are you?

Not just transparent, but vulnerable? How many masks are you currently wearing? What are the parts of your life that you're hiding from people for fear of being rejected, unloved, turned away?

I'm going to be honest with you - I am a mess. And people keep telling me that who I am online is very different to who I am in person, and that makes me realize something - it's too easy for me to put on masks. It's too easy for me to tweet words of wisdom, write Facebook posts about God, and blog about this Christian life. It's safe for me to do that - because then people won't know about the day in, day out struggle I face with my feelings, with my current life season, with my health.

Reality is, I'm not perfect. I don't have as much as Faith as some would assume from my online persona. I don't spend enough of my day thinking about God, and more often than not, I feel like my entire life is stagnant and falling apart. I have to learn the same lessons over and over again, and though I know the power of my words, I still say things in the heat of the moment that I regret. I know all the right songs, I know all the Scriptures, but that's not what matters. Because being this mess that I am, I just need a Savior. I just need to know that God's heart is for me, and not against me the way it so often seems.

I go through stages of giving people advice, sharing some wisdom, but I've come to learn something - I don't have answers. As much as I want to fix everything for myself and others - I can't. I've tried, and I keep failing. So this is where I'm at. I can share my experiences and what I have learned, and let you gain whatever you want to from that. But I'm done with thinking I have it all sorted - because I dont.

Friends, it's scary to say all this. It's scary to show you the beautiful mess that is me. I kind of want to edit this and throw in some pretty words and make it all nice again, but I can't. Because the world doesn't need fancy. The world doesn't need perfect... The world doesn't need one more superior Christian using their Faith to explain away every little thing. The world needs real. The world needs gritty, messy, vulnerable hearts who have Hope in Jesus. That's it.

And that's who I am. I don't have the perfect Faith. I can't explain God to you in scientific terms. I can't tell you why healing comes for some and not for others. I can't promise you that everything is going to work out in your life the way you plan it to. I won't tell you that I'm going to be this real all the time, because there will be moments where I'll still try to hide how messy I am. But I can tell you that I have Hope. I have Hope that will never disappoint. I have Hope that when I meet Jesus face to face, everything will finally be okay, and I'll finally have the answers to all my questions. I have Hope that Jesus is coming back, and when He does, the last shall be first and all oppression will cease. I have Hope that there is more, more for my life, and more for yours.

Be real, Beloved. Be vulnerable. Take down your masks and let people see. Not everyone is going to get it. Some people will reject you - and it will hurt, and it will make you want to hide even more. But make a decision to be what the world needs. To show that you don't have everything figured out. There is nothing more beautiful than a gritty, broken, messy heart who has their Hope solely rooted in Jesus. Be bold, Brave-heart. Your real is worth so much more than your masks.