Friday, 1 November 2013

Sex... Waiting.... An Open Letter...

Dear you,

I want you to know that it's okay to wait. I want you to know that you don't have to have or not have sex just because of what people around you assume. The culture I have grown up in, the world I live in is sexually explicit and permissive. It seems like you cannot watch a movie, read a book, watch a TV show, or listen to the radio without being confronted with some kind of message about sex. 

But I want you to know something. I am waiting. I don't wait because it's the Christian thing to do. I don't wait because I haven't yet had opportunity to have sex. I wait because I know it's what is best for me. I wait out of respect for myself. Out of respect for the man I will someday marry. I wait because I think sex is a big deal, and there is much more to it than what current culture tells us. 

I wait because I know sex will never fulfill me. I know that God intended sex for marriage, and outside that covenant, although it may be fun, it will eventually leave me empty and feeling used. Waiting is a choice. I don't wait because of lack of temptation. I face temptation often, whether in my mind or physically. But I know there is a better plan for my life. So I look temptation in the face, and I purposely turn my back. 

Sometimes I turn off a movie or a song because it stirs up desires in me that cant yet be fulfilled. Sometimes I actually go and distract myself so I can change the train of thoughts in my head. I don't wait because it's easy. I don't wait because I have no interest in sex. 
I'm not going to pretend that I'm some super human who can turn off her flesh until marriage and then switch it on again. Those desires are there and they are real, but I have a conviction. And that's the important thing. An assumption from the world or the Church will never be enough to keep us pure, or make us have sex. We need a genuine conviction either way. We need to know why we're doing what we're doing.
We need to make decisions about what we will allow to influence us, and what we will turn away from. See, it's easy enough for me to wait physically, and yet mentally dream, imagine or visualize. It's easy enough for me to not be all over a guy physically, and yet in my mind, be all over him. 

Waiting, for me, is so much more than just not physically having sex. Waiting is a choice to remain pure mentally and emotionally as well. Waiting is a choice to think right, and have my heart right. I know that what's in my heart will be seen through my words and my actions, so I make the choice, daily, to give my heart and my desires to God. 

Waiting doesn't always feel good. There are moments where I'd rather give in to my flesh than stay strong in my conviction. There are moments where I'd rather feel his arms around me than God's Presence surrounding me. I'm not going to tell you I always get it right either. I'm not going to tell you I always stand strong in my convictions, and choose God's Presence. I do fall. I do give in to my flesh. But I have learned that's not the end of my story. Just because I fall one day, doesn't mean I have to stay down the next. I wholeheartedly believe that 'our past is our past. We all make mistakes. But our purity can start now.'

I'm not going to pretend I have all the answers. I'm not going to tell you why you should wait for sex until marriage. I'm not even going to tell you that you should wait. I just told you my story. Why I wait. How I wait. I am going to say that it's never too late for you, for me, for anyone. Just because we gave in in the past, doesn't mean we have to give in today, or in the future. Purity is a journey that can start whenever. Purity is so much more than just physically waiting - purity is a heart and a mind thing as well. It's not too late to get back what you feel you have lost. I know a God Who can redeem all things, and make all things new. 

You're not too late, Beloved. You're not too dirty. You're not too far gone. There is always Hope for you. There is always a chance for you. Know your ground, and stand on it. When you fall, get back up. Know there is Grace for you - for your victories, and your mistakes. 

Your past is your past. But your purity - it can start now. 


  1. I love this so much. Everything you said is perfect and encouraging. There needs to be more teens and young adults who refuse to conform to society's beliefs. Keep on living with God!

    1. Thank you! I totally agree - we need to conform less to the worlds standards and more to who we were always intended to be :)