Sunday, 29 July 2012

Broken hearts...

So there he was, the guy who had broken my heart and let go of me when he should have fought for me. He was here, and he was walking away again despite my pleas to stay. I turned around and walked away, the disappointment and pain a crushing weight in my heart yet again. Then I heard footsteps, and as I turned around, expectant to see him again, instead there was someone else in pain. As I'm talking to this person, encouraging them whilst still devastated at my own pain, I look up, and there is the guy again. But this time, with tears in his eyes, he's walking towards me. He comes, and takes me in his arms with the fiercest hug I've ever received. Without even speaking he told me how sorry he was. He told me that he wasn't going to leave me again, that he was going to stay even if everything else fell apart. He promised to love me the way I needed to be loved, to fight for me always, and protect me against anything that tried to destroy me or us. I've never felt as safe as I did in that moment. Then, I woke up.

This was last night's dream. I woke up, and have never felt so disappointed. All the memories of the past came flooding back and all I feel is a deep longing for him, for a second chance, for things to have worked out differently than they actually did. Friend, I know that pain of a broken heart. I know how it feels to wake up everyday angry, hurt, confused and just sad. I know how it feels to love someone who doesn't want you to love them. I know how it feels to want the best for someone even when all they've done is hurt you. But I'm here to tell you that this isn't the end. It's the end of a chapter, but there is a whole book to be written yet. Pain wont last forever, even if it lasts for a couple of years, it will end someday. You have what it takes to make it through this. You are strong enough to survive the pain, the tears and the grief, and then move forward. You are either going to become better or bitter, so choose to become better. Choose life. Choose Hope. Choose to become stronger because of what you've been through. The scars you have are testament to God's goodness, because He bought you through that, and He'll bring you through this. Take this time to be romanced by the Creator of all.
 People talk about Jesus' Cross as a bad thing, but what we've gotta understand is that His death that day was a proposal. His surrendering Himself to that Cross was His way of saying 'I want you. I will do whatever it takes to have you. If that means dying, then here I am, giving up my life so you may know Me, and be free from all of your pain, all of your guilt, all of your hurt, and all of your past.' Jesus will always fight for you. He will never give up on. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will always be your Best Friend, your Lover, your Dwelling Place, and your Shelter from the storm.
Choose life today. Choose to grab hold of Hope that wont let you go. This isn't the end of your story, it's just the beginning.

Others were given in exchange for you.

    I traded their lives for yours
because you are precious to Me.
    You are honoured, and I love you.
- Isaiah 43:4

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