What October is Teaching Me

* Bitterness sucks you dry... It just completely drains any joy and strength from you, and is never worth it. It's also contagious, and addictive. It takes a whole lot of determination and a whole lot of opening-yourself-up-to-God to be healed from it.

*Words are so important. Even as a joke, stupid little comments can be way more offensive than we realize... and yes, I learned that one the hard way. Ouch!

*Just say yes. Yes to adventure. Yes to mission. Yes to opportunities that seemingly arise out of nowhere. You may not have all the answers figured out, you may not know what to expect. But if God is in it, then it will always be worth it.

*On the flip side, I am learning to just say no. No to staying out all night.... No to eating foods that only make me sick. No to gossip sessions and bitter conversations. I'm learning to say no to guys - no to dating, no to over analyzing every single little conversation... You see, I made a commitment - that from now til New Years, my focus is elsewhere. My focus is on God, and what He wants to do in me and what He is doing. My focus is on finishing uni well for the year. My focus is on getting myself healthy, in every way, because I have lived sick for so long.

*And that brings me to my next lesson - commitment is hard. As much as I want to say it's all been great and I feel strong and I know I will keep my promise - there are moments when it is extremely hard. Moments where I want to say the words that will give my heart and feelings away. Moments where I want to be bitter and broken, where I want to vent and be angry and unforgiving. There are moments where I just want to analyze the whole thing over and over again til I figure what's really going on. And yet, though it is hard, it has been so rewarding already. There have been so many incredible moments where I run to God so empty and broken and at the end of myself, only to find Him there waiting for me, ready to hold me and teach me and heal me. I guess it's the best kind of challenging.

*There are 2 songs that are perfectly acceptable to listen to on repeat all.the.time. These are:
Just Fall - Anthem Lights
Broken Vessels - Hillsong

And no, I dont need to say anything more about them, because they speak for themselves :)

*And finally, October is teaching me what it looks like to move on. It's been a year since I started on a journey I had no idea I needed to go on. It was every kind of emotional high and low, and taught me the most important thing a person can learn - Christ is enough, always & ever enough... Even when human love isn't enough, He still is... And as I look back now, I'm reminded to be present in the moments, to be honest about what's happening, & to look for the blessings in every season. I walked a journey that is known only as heartbreak - and it was horrible and painful and I didn't think I would survive it. But I did, and I'm thankful for it. It has taught me so much, and reminded me that my strength is in God. I wouldn't have survived it without Him, His mercy, compassion and Grace.