That's kinda where I've been lately. I've cried from not knowing what to do... I've cried from being angry... I've cried from being so tired of battling sickness... I've cried from fear and doubt and uncertainty... And yes, given I'm a 20 year old female, I've cried about boys.
But through this season of tears, I've learnt some things. I've learnt that God cares about those tears... He cares enough to hold me while I cry, then gives me the strength to get up and keep moving. I've learnt He cares so much about me, that He collects all my tears in His bottle, and has a plan for each of them. (Psalm 56:8)
I've learnt that He knows my heart, and He sees me. and He cries with me for all I've lost, and He's okay with my emotions, but has a plan beyond them. He's taught me that it's okay to miss the things I've lost, whilst still trusting He has a greater plan for my future. It's in this season of tears I've learnt what being strong actually means.
Yes, we can show strength through our ability to fight for ourselves and the things we care about. We can show strength in standing up for ourselves and choosing the things we deserve. But more often than not, we show the most strength when we admit that not everything feels okay. We show strength when we let ourselves be vulnerable enough to cry, even if we're only crying in front of God.
There's something brave about tears... About showing that something, or someone mattered to you. Even if you didn't want them to. And I dont know about you, but I wanna be brave enough to do that... Brave enough to admit that I care... And I'm not okay with being treated like I'm worthless... And I dont always have everything figured out about this crazy-beautiful life.
So yes, there have been tears. And I'm still not entirely okay with that, especially when those tears happen in front of people... But God meets us there, in those moments. He has a plan far beyond what we can see in the moment. And He takes all those tears, and writes them in His book - knowing they each matter, and have a story behind them. He has a plan for redemption, that will be revealed the day Jesus comes back... And I cannot wait for that glorious unfolding.
Those who walk the fields to sow, casting their seed in tears,
will one day tread those same long rows, amazed by what’s appeared.
Those who weep as they walk and plant with sighs will return singing with joy,
when they bring home the harvest. - Psalm 126:5-6
Because the Lamb who stands at the center of the throne is their shepherd and they are His sheep,
and He will lead them to the water of life.
and He will lead them to the water of life.
And God will dry every tear from their eyes. - Revelation 7:17
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