To the One whose Heart has been Broken (making you feel so far from good enough),
A broken heart is a never ending train wreck of emotions. Though it's all over the place, I believe there are two main stages of it. The first stage - the one that seems to last the longest - is the 'it aint pretty' stage.
This is where the tears and the screaming, the lying on the floor numb, the desperate to forget emotions come in. This is where the desperation kicks in. The desperation to feel loved and wanted. The desperation to escape from the hurt and the pain.
You've convinced yourself by this point that you are not at all good enough. You've convinced yourself no one will ever want you again, and so you will do just about anything in order to feel wanted. Like I said, it's not a pretty stage.
But from one ugly broken heart to another, I want to tell you a few things.
First thing, as is evidenced by this letter - you are not alone. Everything you are feeling now, so many of us have felt before. Our situations may all be different, but a broken heart is what it is.
Whatever happened, baby, it's not your fault. Dont take on the responsibility for another persons choices and actions, especially to the detriment of yourself. You are worth everything - dont blame yourself, darling.
Second thing you need to know is that you are good enough. I know nothing in you feels it. I know you could give me a list of reasons right now as to why you arent. I know the messiness that comes from this breaking apart just adds to you feeling so far from worth it. But I promise you, you are so worth it. and this season, this chapter in your life? Well, it's not the end of your story. It's not where it all has to end.
You see, the second stage to a broken heart - that's the beautiful stage. That's the part where you begin to find yourself again. It's the part where you start to smile through the tears. It's the part where, when the memories come back, you laugh and you smile, and you thank God for those times, and then you keep moving forward. The beautiful stage is the one where you care about the person and wish the best for them, but you know its not you. And you know there is a future out there for you so much better than you can even imagine.
Darling, I know what a broken heart will do to you. I know it will tell you that you are not enough; that you're not pretty enough or fun enough, or sexy enough; or that you're too much, too loud, too emotional, too whatever. Those are lies, baby-cakes. Lies straight from hell. You - exactly as you are - you're beautiful in every way. You are worth fighting for, and I'm so sorry that persons actions didn't show you that.
You are fun to be with. The right person will find you so unbelievably sexy, and they're the only one who will matter anyway. You dont need to be desperate, my love. You dont need to disrespect yourself to feel wanted. Be you. Be kind to yourself. Find ways to deal with the pain in a way that promotes your health. Forgive yourself.
Look for the blessings, the little moments of joy in every day, and be thankful for them. I know it's not pretty sometimes, but that's okay too. Just dont stay in that place too long. Keep taking steps forward. Do what you can to get strong and stay strong.
You are so precious, baby. You are worth everything. Life will be beautiful again, I promise. Know your worth.