Monday, 9 December 2013

This Green Thing Called Jealousy...

We've all been there. We've all felt and lived through that green eyed monster called jealousy. When I was growing up, I used to think jealously was just wanting someone else's appearance. I thought jealousy just meant wishing I was as pretty as someone else. But as I grew older, I discovered that jealousy can be felt in all areas. 

I discovered I could be jealous of someone else's time, someone else's relationship, someone else's gifting, or even their calling. And as much as I'd like to think this thing called jealousy went out with high school, that isn't necessarily the case. I'm 19 years old, just finished my second year of university, and a committed Christian - but lately, I've been feeling jealous. I've been jealous of someone else's relationship, of the person they're spending their time with - and it's not a nice feeling. In fact, it feels downright ugly. So now what?
When you're jealous, what are you supposed to do with this jealousy?
How do you overcome this?

I think the first thing is to stop comparing yourself. It's pretty difficult to be jealous of someone if you're not focusing on how they're different to you. All comparison does is steal our joy and make us feel inadequate - there is nothing beautiful or life-giving about this comparison game.

The second thing is to pray. Pray for yourselves, and pray for the person/ people you're jealous of. Ask God to help you see the Truth, to see the situation for exactly what it is. It's amazing what happens when you ask God to see people the way He does... Suddenly it's no longer about what they have that you don't - it's about seeing that they need love just as much as you do. God has a much bigger perspective than we do, and will share that with us when we ask.

The third thing is to be kind - to the person and to yourself. You cannot hate on them just because you are jealous of them. They haven't done anything to make you feel jealous, and even if they have, they are still a human being who needs love. Baby, be kind to yourself as well. Often when you're jealous of someone you focus on the all things you don't have, or all the things you hate about yourself whilst also focusing on everything that person has that you don't. Find some things about yourself that you like. Look in the mirror and smile - compliment yourself.

And finally, accept those feelings. You can feel what we're feeling, acknowledge it, and then move on. It's okay, baby. You're doing good. Jealousy happens to all of us. It doesn't make you any less of a person. It doesn't mean your Faith isn't strong enough. It just means you're a human being having a human moment. The good news is that you don't have to stay there. You don't have to act on your jealousy. You don't have to stay in a constant state of feeling it.

You're you for a reason, Beloved. And you're exactly who you were always meant to be. Don't hate on yourself for what you don't have - love yourself for the beautiful and strong creation that you are.

Don't give up.

1 comment:

  1. some good advice but easier said than done.. wish they had something like this for men -