I've spent the last week sick, which means I've spent the last week watching A LOT of movies... sweet movies... romantic comedies, chick flicks, movies with good looking Irish men, you name it - I've watched it. And now, there is no denying the longing in me for my guy... I'm 18, the age at which I wanted to marry. And as far as I'm aware, I have not yet met 'my guy.' So I thought I would share some of my thoughts about singleness :)
1. singleness sucks sometimes - and that is okay!
I've spent the last few months working on being content with where I'm at. I've been busy learning to love myself and take care of myself, knowing that's the only way others can love me. I've prayed a thousand (maybe more like a million) times for my guy, I've written letters to him in the moments where I just need to remember he's out there. But God has made it clear to me that He has plans for me in this single season, and I need to make them happen. So, I have my purpose, and I have my God. But for the sake of being honest, there are still moments where singleness sucks. I'm not too fond of the Christian answer 'He's out there. Just keep praying and doing what you're doing and God will bring him to you at the right time.'
Yes, I believe God can do anything. Yes, I believe He has written my love story and will work out the details. BUT, I also believe in being real, and saying it like it is so long as your words aren't hurting someone else. It's okay to admit that you get lonely. It's okay to admit that you would like that person in your life. but it's also important to not make that your everything.
2. singleness has purpose!
I can promise that God has a purpose and a plan for you, and because of that, you have a responsibility to uncover your gift and use it! We cannot wait for someone else to make us happy, because the reality is, that's not their job, it's ours. We cannot wait for that 'special someone' to come along before we begin to accomplish our dreams. That thing you're passionate about, that thing you have dreamt about doing all your life, start taking the steps to accomplish it now. Get busy changing the world for God. Wherever you see a need, meet it as best you can. believe it or not, God has you in this season for a purpose. He can and will use you right here if you let Him.
3. Keep dreaming and know it's okay to 'look.'
One of the biggest problems I always found was, how the heck is my guy supposed to come along if I'm going nowhere and doing nothing? It is okay to actively pursue someone. Unless you are getting a big fat NO from God and those around you who you trust, why not just go have coffee with someone? It's just coffee - not marriage. Get involved in groups, do things that interest you, build up friendships with guys, and stop thinking every guy that pays you attention could be 'the one.' that particular mindset wont help you to just be friends with someone. Keep daydreaming about your guy, about your relationship. Allow yourself to imagine your wedding (if that's who you are)... Allow yourself those moments with friends where you do watch a cute movie or talk about guys and relationships. But just remember that first and foremost, you need to be content in God, and you need to love who you are.
4. And finally, watch your influences!
If you are going to spend all your times listening to sweet music, watching cute movies, reading romantic books, and daydreaming constantly, you will probably find the longing in you stirred up to the point where you cannot think of anything else. Like I said before, have those moments, but dont let that become all the time. Know your limits, know the things that create those thoughts and feelings in you, and avoid them. Just say 'no.' It's not as hard as it sounds. Choose to fill your mind with God's purpose, with His plan, His point of view.
More than anything, enjoy the journey. This isn't the end result, God is not done with you yet. Live in the moment. Cry if you want to, scream, pray, laugh, dance, sing, write... whatever comes, just be aware and present. Every season passes, so live the one you're in, knowing this too shall pass.